Saturday, June 27, 2009
Getting Better
We are headed to the lake. M called and is on his way home. He said grab some stuff, let's go to the lake. YEA!! I don't even care about the lake. I am still a little burned from last weekend but I will get to see M a lot at the lake. Plus I can be outside in 100 degree weather if I am standing in water, drinking cold beer. LOL!!
Weekend
Weekend is not been very exciting. We were supposed to leave for lake as soon as work was over but M needed to work some Saturday to finish a house. Bummer but hey, work is work. We both worked late Friday but decided to go out to eat, just the two of us. I was looking forward to it. We were talking and chatting as we got ready. First time all week, we really had time to spend together.
We got to restaurant and got seated right away. An acquaintance was at the next table and we stopped to say hi. We just vaguely know him and not his new wife at all. Almost immediately, he moved over next to his wife and wanted us to join them. It was akward. We couldn't gracefully say no, but we really don't know them that well. His wife doesn't know us at all, not even our names. We spent about an hour with them, making small talk. It went okay but it was not the evening alone with M I was hoping for.
This morning, M got up and went to work. I just kind of moped around the house. I was pouty and just waiting for 11:00 when I was going to leave to get lunch and go meet M. I don't think I got anything done. I just flitted around. I left at 10:55, went by Quizno's and then to job M is working at. It is 100 outside today. Very hot. We ate lunch in garage where there were doors on both sides. Slight breeze. Tolerable.
However, I wanted to stay with him so I hung around watching him work. He was working in back master closet. No air. Very hot and stuffy. I got hotter and hotter. I went to garage for breeze a few times. I finally went outside where back porch will be and set in doorway opening with nice breeze whipping around.
I was not feeling well. M could tell and made me leave. I was mad. Not at him but at my heat intolerance. I don't do good in heat. I do better if I start out in it first thing in the morning and get slowly used to it. Arriving there at 11:30 didn't work. I was shaky and yucky feeling. Made me irritated. Now I am home again, bored, mopey, irritated, and whiney.
We got to restaurant and got seated right away. An acquaintance was at the next table and we stopped to say hi. We just vaguely know him and not his new wife at all. Almost immediately, he moved over next to his wife and wanted us to join them. It was akward. We couldn't gracefully say no, but we really don't know them that well. His wife doesn't know us at all, not even our names. We spent about an hour with them, making small talk. It went okay but it was not the evening alone with M I was hoping for.
This morning, M got up and went to work. I just kind of moped around the house. I was pouty and just waiting for 11:00 when I was going to leave to get lunch and go meet M. I don't think I got anything done. I just flitted around. I left at 10:55, went by Quizno's and then to job M is working at. It is 100 outside today. Very hot. We ate lunch in garage where there were doors on both sides. Slight breeze. Tolerable.
However, I wanted to stay with him so I hung around watching him work. He was working in back master closet. No air. Very hot and stuffy. I got hotter and hotter. I went to garage for breeze a few times. I finally went outside where back porch will be and set in doorway opening with nice breeze whipping around.
I was not feeling well. M could tell and made me leave. I was mad. Not at him but at my heat intolerance. I don't do good in heat. I do better if I start out in it first thing in the morning and get slowly used to it. Arriving there at 11:30 didn't work. I was shaky and yucky feeling. Made me irritated. Now I am home again, bored, mopey, irritated, and whiney.
Friday, June 26, 2009
20
Tonight is my 20th high school reunion party. I am not going. Only reason I even know about it is because of my facebook account. Only reason I even remembered it is because today is my nephew's 20th birthday.
It is hard to believe - - - 20 years. I did not enjoy high school. I didn't hate it but I have no desire to see any of the 900+ people I graduted with. I "talk" to the few I remember on facebook and it is nice to see what they are up to in that setting. However, I have no desire to make small talk with these people for a whole weekend of events.
Sounds cynical maybe. I don't mean it to. I graduated with so many people and I only went to three hours of class my senior year. I was working by noon every day. I was already dating M so I didn't hang out with many people my age.
I didn't get anything out of high school. I didn't learn anything. I was shy and quiet and not very rich since my mom supported us on her own. Rich was important in my school. Rich kids got a lot of attention from teachers. I never had anyone talk to me about taking college credits in high school or even about going to college after high school. I was smart. Too smart but not very applied. Because I was shy, I hid being smart. Sounds dumb, but it is very true.
M is the one that pushed me to go to college. It was almost like I hadn't even thought about it. He brought it up and I thought, "okay, I can do that." Now here I am with a masters and a great challenging job I love and lots of room to move up still. We got married when I was just 19 and M never complained about college costs or the fact that it took 10 years to finish as I started to work more hours.
I don't mean to imply my mom ignored me. Not at all. But she just didn't think about it. She was busy working and getting by and I realize now that was a lot more of a struggle than she ever let on. We can be a lot alike and I am sure she never even thought about encouraging me or pushing me to do better. It just never crossed her mind. Without M pushing for college, I probably would have got a job and done okay. I am a hard worker and take on more and more work without anyone even asking. I would have done good and I did do good even before I graduated with bachelors, but the degree helped and pushed me to another level.
Today was a hard day. It's hard to be at this other level and realize that you have to make decisions that affect people's lives. It is tough even when it is warranted. Even people that make bad choices or do bad things are people. They have families that depend on them.
Need this weekend. Actually need to work, getting stuff done is a big relief, but I will take weekend off. Maybe get more rest. I have been dreaming a lot. Dumb stuff but I think it is because there is so much on my mind. So many problems being worked on or avenues to explore. Mind doesn't have time to shut down. Weekends help. More time to spend with M. Love time with M.
It is hard to believe - - - 20 years. I did not enjoy high school. I didn't hate it but I have no desire to see any of the 900+ people I graduted with. I "talk" to the few I remember on facebook and it is nice to see what they are up to in that setting. However, I have no desire to make small talk with these people for a whole weekend of events.
Sounds cynical maybe. I don't mean it to. I graduated with so many people and I only went to three hours of class my senior year. I was working by noon every day. I was already dating M so I didn't hang out with many people my age.
I didn't get anything out of high school. I didn't learn anything. I was shy and quiet and not very rich since my mom supported us on her own. Rich was important in my school. Rich kids got a lot of attention from teachers. I never had anyone talk to me about taking college credits in high school or even about going to college after high school. I was smart. Too smart but not very applied. Because I was shy, I hid being smart. Sounds dumb, but it is very true.
M is the one that pushed me to go to college. It was almost like I hadn't even thought about it. He brought it up and I thought, "okay, I can do that." Now here I am with a masters and a great challenging job I love and lots of room to move up still. We got married when I was just 19 and M never complained about college costs or the fact that it took 10 years to finish as I started to work more hours.
I don't mean to imply my mom ignored me. Not at all. But she just didn't think about it. She was busy working and getting by and I realize now that was a lot more of a struggle than she ever let on. We can be a lot alike and I am sure she never even thought about encouraging me or pushing me to do better. It just never crossed her mind. Without M pushing for college, I probably would have got a job and done okay. I am a hard worker and take on more and more work without anyone even asking. I would have done good and I did do good even before I graduated with bachelors, but the degree helped and pushed me to another level.
Today was a hard day. It's hard to be at this other level and realize that you have to make decisions that affect people's lives. It is tough even when it is warranted. Even people that make bad choices or do bad things are people. They have families that depend on them.
Need this weekend. Actually need to work, getting stuff done is a big relief, but I will take weekend off. Maybe get more rest. I have been dreaming a lot. Dumb stuff but I think it is because there is so much on my mind. So many problems being worked on or avenues to explore. Mind doesn't have time to shut down. Weekends help. More time to spend with M. Love time with M.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Sweat
It's a nasty topic but all I can think right now is . . . sweat. It is hot. Very hot. I worked 1.5 hours late, hot ride home, picked up my husband and shuttled him to friend's little airport hangar where the 182 got an oil change this morning. M is going to wash plane and head to home airport so I can pick him up and head to the lake. However, I had to leave M and get gas, go grocery shopping, load groceries in car, stop and cash in a few lottery tickets ($67 - YES!), buy another 10-drawing lottery ticket, unpack groceries, pack them back up in ice chest to go to lake, take trash can down from street, check the mail, check my email, clean out the car, gather his crap out of his car, pack for the lake, straighten some clutter so I don't come home to a mess Sunday and now I am finally taking a minute to get on my computer and the first thing I automatically do is log in and check my work email. AAAHHH!!! There wasn't anything major but needless to say I am hot and sweaty. I have about 30 minutes to change clothes and get ready to leave for Sundance. I thought I would vent my frustrations before I cooled off (or maybe as part of the cooling off process?)
Okay, I am already a little cooler. A/C just kicked on too, that helps. Just hearing it makes me feel better. I had a lovely working lunch today at Deep Deuce Grill near work. I had never even heard of it, but it was very good. Deep Deuce is an old, small, historically African-American community near downtown Oklahoma City that is getting some much needed renovations and new housing and economic base. It is a very nice area and close to work.
I'd better get moving again. Need to pay a few bills before I run upstairs to finish getting ready. (That was just a saying. I don't run upstairs. I tried a few weeks ago in flip-flops and fell. Injured my right shoulder because I was holding onto the handrail. No more attempts at running for D.)
Okay, I am already a little cooler. A/C just kicked on too, that helps. Just hearing it makes me feel better. I had a lovely working lunch today at Deep Deuce Grill near work. I had never even heard of it, but it was very good. Deep Deuce is an old, small, historically African-American community near downtown Oklahoma City that is getting some much needed renovations and new housing and economic base. It is a very nice area and close to work.
I'd better get moving again. Need to pay a few bills before I run upstairs to finish getting ready. (That was just a saying. I don't run upstairs. I tried a few weeks ago in flip-flops and fell. Injured my right shoulder because I was holding onto the handrail. No more attempts at running for D.)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Desk and other thngs
I only had one goal today--work at my desk all day. It was a struggle but I did it. I can't say I got as much done as I planned but I did achieve my stay at my desk goal. YEA!! Baby steps.
It is hot today. Hottest day so far this year. 100 degrees according to my rearview mirror display in the car. Our rain chances are gone until September. Just hot is left. My dark blue car gets very hot during the day. I end up leaving the windows down until I get to about the state capital. Open window makes a mess of my hair but so does 100 degree weather. (insert profuse head sweating image here.)
I had a pepper jack cheese and Triscuit snack when I got home today. It hit the spot. I love cheese and crackers. M is working late so I put something out to thaw for dinner. I was hoping to go out, maybe for Chinese, but probably won't now if he is working late.
I am getting ready to head into the study to work on paperwork. I was lazy last evening and felt some guilt during the night. I'd better get to it. Tomorrow we are taking the 182 to friend's hangar for oil change. It will probably mess up the entire evening.
I counted up today that I am working only 11 days in July. Sounds wonderful on face value but since I still have to get 31 days worth of work done, it's not as great as it sounds. I am taking a 4-day weekend for the 4th of July holiday. Probably will spend all that time at the lake.
My clerk's husband is having a stem cell transplant in July. He has to be in hospital for 30 days. It is going to be hard on her wanting to be with him and wanting to be at work and make money too. I have told her to do what she needs to do. The hospital is close to work, just 3-4 blocks. However, by the time she parks and gets into ICU, it takes 25 minutes to get to his room. It's going to be a hard month for her but they are ready too. Been a long wait. I pray it goes well and has miraculous results.
It is hot today. Hottest day so far this year. 100 degrees according to my rearview mirror display in the car. Our rain chances are gone until September. Just hot is left. My dark blue car gets very hot during the day. I end up leaving the windows down until I get to about the state capital. Open window makes a mess of my hair but so does 100 degree weather. (insert profuse head sweating image here.)
I had a pepper jack cheese and Triscuit snack when I got home today. It hit the spot. I love cheese and crackers. M is working late so I put something out to thaw for dinner. I was hoping to go out, maybe for Chinese, but probably won't now if he is working late.
I am getting ready to head into the study to work on paperwork. I was lazy last evening and felt some guilt during the night. I'd better get to it. Tomorrow we are taking the 182 to friend's hangar for oil change. It will probably mess up the entire evening.
I counted up today that I am working only 11 days in July. Sounds wonderful on face value but since I still have to get 31 days worth of work done, it's not as great as it sounds. I am taking a 4-day weekend for the 4th of July holiday. Probably will spend all that time at the lake.
My clerk's husband is having a stem cell transplant in July. He has to be in hospital for 30 days. It is going to be hard on her wanting to be with him and wanting to be at work and make money too. I have told her to do what she needs to do. The hospital is close to work, just 3-4 blocks. However, by the time she parks and gets into ICU, it takes 25 minutes to get to his room. It's going to be a hard month for her but they are ready too. Been a long wait. I pray it goes well and has miraculous results.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Meetings and Committees
Who invented meetings and committees? It was a bad, bad idea to invent such a creation. I spent last two days in meetings. Committee meetings, post-meeting meetings, post-post-meeting meetings, follow-up meetings, post-follow-up meetings, meetings to explain what I meant in the first meetings.
I have to say we have actually got some things done but goodness my desk is really piling up with mail and messages. I am in a super-duper keep everything caught up mode. I am starting to think ahead to the two weeks off work in July. It is going to take a lot of work to get ready for that absence. I will probably have to work each evening on things too.
I just wasted an entire evening. M had plans to go flying tonight with friends and I had big productive plans to work in the study but I didn't. I can't really say why, I just didn't. I've been reading, watching TV, piddling, not much of anything. Just wasting away the evening.
I forgot to wear make-up this morning. I didn't even realize until first time I went into bathroom. I thought my eyes looked really washed out and thought I might have forgotten mascara but then I realized I forgot all my makeup. Oh well, I survived.
I have to say we have actually got some things done but goodness my desk is really piling up with mail and messages. I am in a super-duper keep everything caught up mode. I am starting to think ahead to the two weeks off work in July. It is going to take a lot of work to get ready for that absence. I will probably have to work each evening on things too.
I just wasted an entire evening. M had plans to go flying tonight with friends and I had big productive plans to work in the study but I didn't. I can't really say why, I just didn't. I've been reading, watching TV, piddling, not much of anything. Just wasting away the evening.
I forgot to wear make-up this morning. I didn't even realize until first time I went into bathroom. I thought my eyes looked really washed out and thought I might have forgotten mascara but then I realized I forgot all my makeup. Oh well, I survived.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Korea
The whole Korea situation scares me. Our son D is stationed in South Korea just barely south of the North Korea border. He is only there until November but I don't like the situation over there.
D will be home for a month before new assignment in the Azores. We haven't seen him since Nov 2007. It will be great to see him but it is always a little odd to have him back in the house. That doesn't sound as cold and heartless as it sounds. It's just that you get used to no kids in the house and new routines and then here they are again.
He is a bit of a slob. (Military service does not break them of this once boot camp is over.) It's just odd to have someone here again. Last time he was here, he stayed with his mom part of the time and his cousin part of the time. We saw him a lot.
This time I am not sure. His mom is getting married in July and already lives south of us quite a bit. His cousin got married the last time D was home and has since had a new baby so that is not really an option. He is always welcome here but I wonder if he will stay with his sister. I think L would be thrilled to "host" him. She has an apartment she works very hard to pay for and would love having him to herself some of the time.
They always got along best when there was no parent to compete over. They would fight so horribly but then you could hear them in the other room when no one else was around just talking like best friends. It was hard having a boy and then a three-year younger girl. Not much in common after they were little.
Gotta go, I just remembered I was working on laundry. Never ending laundry.
D will be home for a month before new assignment in the Azores. We haven't seen him since Nov 2007. It will be great to see him but it is always a little odd to have him back in the house. That doesn't sound as cold and heartless as it sounds. It's just that you get used to no kids in the house and new routines and then here they are again.
He is a bit of a slob. (Military service does not break them of this once boot camp is over.) It's just odd to have someone here again. Last time he was here, he stayed with his mom part of the time and his cousin part of the time. We saw him a lot.
This time I am not sure. His mom is getting married in July and already lives south of us quite a bit. His cousin got married the last time D was home and has since had a new baby so that is not really an option. He is always welcome here but I wonder if he will stay with his sister. I think L would be thrilled to "host" him. She has an apartment she works very hard to pay for and would love having him to herself some of the time.
They always got along best when there was no parent to compete over. They would fight so horribly but then you could hear them in the other room when no one else was around just talking like best friends. It was hard having a boy and then a three-year younger girl. Not much in common after they were little.
Gotta go, I just remembered I was working on laundry. Never ending laundry.
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