I am in a cleaning mood. Cleaning out stuff mood that is, not a bizarre desire to mop or anything like that. I am in the mood to discard, recycle, or donate stuff. Just want to get rid of the clutter. I have been whittling away at stuff for most of this year, but I want to do more.
I have a linen cabinet full of scrapbooking supplies and tools. I had no interest in scrapbooking when the craze first started, but several years ago I decided to make my mom an album for Mother’s Day. I had to buy everything of course and did get her album done and then started on an album for myself. I got maybe a dozen pages or so done and haven’t touched the stuff in years. Literally it has not been touched since September 2003!
It is not that I didn’t enjoy it in ways. I enjoyed designing the pages and looking through old pictures, but because I am always in such a hurry but also a perfectionist, it caused a great deal of stress to me. I know that sounds ridiculous but that is the type of thing I will do to myself. I had to leave everything set up on a card table or when I did have a few free minutes they would all be used dragging supplies out. However, having everything setting out made me think I needed to get to it quickly. You can’t imagine the relief when I finally just packed it all up in boxes and put it out of sight.
Now, the thing about putting stuff out of sight is that other people don’t know it is there but I still know it is there. When it was upstairs in the linen, I didn’t think anything about it. But now that we live up there, I KNOW it is in there mocking me. I don’t think I will ever use it again. My time is just too limited to spend that way. I still take some pictures at times and copy other’s pictures off myspace.com after a party or vacation, but I don’t even print them. They are on the computer. I can look at them if I need to. I need to just go through all this stuff and get rid of it. My mom would gladly take it and would use it, so I have no excuse not to get it done.
That is it, I have decided. The stuff is going for sure. It is time. I am ready. . . . . Oh no, I just had some doubts. . . . why do I do this? I want the stuff gone. It’s not like if I changed my mind in 10 years I couldn’t afford to buy all new stuff. Ludicrous.
I think part of the reason is that it annoys me that I spent so much money on the stuff and then didn’t make use of it. I am cheap and I really do not spend money often on stuff for myself because I have learned through these tough lessons that I really don’t want the stuff. I spend my spare time reading or surfing the internet and I am content with that. I have never regretted buying books, never, and I have 100s and 100s of them. Why am I making myself miserable over discarding this stuff? It’s not like I can do anything about the wasted money. It is in the past and can’t be changed. Hiding the stuff in the cabinet is not going to change that fact.
Wow, I can already tell that that was it. I have hit on the actual problem. This stuff represents something I regret doing. I have such odd guilt and regret emotions. What should be simply something I tried because I wanted to, and then decided I didn’t enjoy enough to devote time to, has worked its way into a feeling of failure for me. I know my guilt and regret emotions are overly sensitive and I work hard to keep from triggering them. I am going to let the stuff go and move on, that’s all I can do.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Fuel
Quick venting about fuel prices. I know I shouldn't complain because the price is not going to go down unless we all stop using so much fuel and I haven't slowed my consumption down in the least but:
OUCH!! Fuel costs are killing us. I paid $3.79 the other day and at the lake it was $3.89. M uses diesel which is over $4.50 and he is filling up his large tank every other day due to out of town job. I just found out today that Avgas went up 40 cents/gallon (up to $4.79) overnight last night.
I don't know the answer but something has to give. The price of everything can't keep going up without us all needing an supplemental increase in income.
OUCH!! Fuel costs are killing us. I paid $3.79 the other day and at the lake it was $3.89. M uses diesel which is over $4.50 and he is filling up his large tank every other day due to out of town job. I just found out today that Avgas went up 40 cents/gallon (up to $4.79) overnight last night.
I don't know the answer but something has to give. The price of everything can't keep going up without us all needing an supplemental increase in income.
Lake
Spent a lot of time in the car last weekend. The weather kept us from flying to McPherson for C's graduation. We ended up having to drive. Four hours up there (two stops including lunch), three hours there (for a graduating class of 50 this was extremely long!) and a six hour trip to the lake from Kansas. Trip to the lake should have just been five hours but there were 16 of us in 5 cars which required three stops, including a dinner stop at Taco Bell. (Note to anyone interested: The Taco Bell in Park City, KS had the fastest service ever. When we stopped to all eat there, I knew it was going to take forever but instead they had our food ready before we even got done paying. Unbelievably good service.) A huge storm system was in our path which included tornadoes and large hail. We ended up having to go about 30 minutes out of our way to edge around the storm. We arrived at the lake at 11:00 p.m. We were all tired but we had to spend so much time visiting with the people already there and "retelling" stories about the graduation and our road trip, that we all stayed up until 3:30 the next morning.
I slept in the next morning until 11:00 and missed breakfast. I didn't even care, just grabbed a yogurt instead and felt great for getting extra sleep. I was not able to go out in the boat this weekend due to a rib/chest inflammation problem. We had so many people that M and another couple stayed behind too when everyone went out on Sunday. The couple owns the lot next door and M and B cleared some trees and did some mowing on their lot. Due to holiday crowd, the boat crew just headed to the beach for some heavy duty drinking activities. Everyone had a good time and even stayed sober enough to all make it to dinner.
Monday was quieter but the kids (ages 18-27) did go out in the boat for awhile to jump off the cliffs by the dam. They had been gone awhile when three of them came back on the golf cart with horrible expressions on their faces. Us old folks (ages 37-53) were sitting on the porch and by comparing notes later, I know that all of us had instant fear that someone had been hurt due to the looks on their faces. All three of them came storming up the porch steps and all started talking at once. To make a long story short, the lake patrol had pulled them over and the man was such an ass that he had totally ruined their trip.
I know that lake patrol has a job to do and I don't envy them having to deal with some of the stuff that happens on holiday weekends, but this man's behavior was uncalled for. The kids had finished jumping and were just meandering around trying to decide if anyone wanted to wake board or if they were ready to go back to the dock. My nephew was driving and his wife is pregnant so he wasn't going very fast so as not to bounce her around. The lake patrol accused them of having the boat so overloaded that it wouldn't go very fast and was riding low in the water. They were two people over the boat's rating but anyone that knows anything about boats know this doesn't make you ride lower in the water. For one thing, three of them don't even weigh 100 lbs. We have had a couple of more people than this on the boat with no problems.
The lake patrol yelled at them, threatened to write them 8 tickets, he made them read the boat's tag out loud and count how many people were in the boat out loud, he made them all find and put on life jackets, yelled at them because the jackets were stored under the seats instead of in "immediate arm's reach" like the law demands, he made two of them change life jackets because he thought the one's they put on were too small (by the way they had more than enough life jackets for the number of people), he demanded to know if they were all over 21 and was so mean about it that they all said "yes" even though one of them isn't. Only two of them were drinking but he had them so scared they didn't know what to do. He got mad because the driver didn't have his driver's license with him, apparently this is a new OK law that just went into effect last November. We didn't even know about it. We told them it was on the news but he guessed kids just didn't have time to watch the news and learn was is going on in the world, he made them demonstrate how that the horn worked, and show that they had a square floatable throw pillow. It was too extreme. I can't say that he really didn't anything not allowed by law, but his attitude sucked and he ruined their day for no reason what so ever. He made four of them move into his boat and brought everyone back to the dock. He ended up only giving my nephew a warning.
It made me very mad because he only did that because they are kids. They weren't doing anything wrong. They weren't drunk or acting up. My brother-in-law went down to the dock with my nephew (he had to come up to the house and get his license). The guy tried to tell my brother-in-law that the boat almost capsized when they hit a wave. That is a lie. We have done everything possible with that boat and you can't capsize it or even rock it. It is a big Hurricane deck boat, it doesn't do crazy things. The motor bogs down if you even turn too sharply. Also, we have had it over capacity more often than under capacity not to mention the five ice chests we usually carry. This man was mad because he had to work all weekend (he mentioned it several times) and decided to play with his supposed power with some poor kids. As I said before we are over capacity all the time and they never pull us adults over.
I know that sometimes groups of kids can cause problems or be in need of checking up on but don't treat kids bad just because they are young.
I slept in the next morning until 11:00 and missed breakfast. I didn't even care, just grabbed a yogurt instead and felt great for getting extra sleep. I was not able to go out in the boat this weekend due to a rib/chest inflammation problem. We had so many people that M and another couple stayed behind too when everyone went out on Sunday. The couple owns the lot next door and M and B cleared some trees and did some mowing on their lot. Due to holiday crowd, the boat crew just headed to the beach for some heavy duty drinking activities. Everyone had a good time and even stayed sober enough to all make it to dinner.
Monday was quieter but the kids (ages 18-27) did go out in the boat for awhile to jump off the cliffs by the dam. They had been gone awhile when three of them came back on the golf cart with horrible expressions on their faces. Us old folks (ages 37-53) were sitting on the porch and by comparing notes later, I know that all of us had instant fear that someone had been hurt due to the looks on their faces. All three of them came storming up the porch steps and all started talking at once. To make a long story short, the lake patrol had pulled them over and the man was such an ass that he had totally ruined their trip.
I know that lake patrol has a job to do and I don't envy them having to deal with some of the stuff that happens on holiday weekends, but this man's behavior was uncalled for. The kids had finished jumping and were just meandering around trying to decide if anyone wanted to wake board or if they were ready to go back to the dock. My nephew was driving and his wife is pregnant so he wasn't going very fast so as not to bounce her around. The lake patrol accused them of having the boat so overloaded that it wouldn't go very fast and was riding low in the water. They were two people over the boat's rating but anyone that knows anything about boats know this doesn't make you ride lower in the water. For one thing, three of them don't even weigh 100 lbs. We have had a couple of more people than this on the boat with no problems.
The lake patrol yelled at them, threatened to write them 8 tickets, he made them read the boat's tag out loud and count how many people were in the boat out loud, he made them all find and put on life jackets, yelled at them because the jackets were stored under the seats instead of in "immediate arm's reach" like the law demands, he made two of them change life jackets because he thought the one's they put on were too small (by the way they had more than enough life jackets for the number of people), he demanded to know if they were all over 21 and was so mean about it that they all said "yes" even though one of them isn't. Only two of them were drinking but he had them so scared they didn't know what to do. He got mad because the driver didn't have his driver's license with him, apparently this is a new OK law that just went into effect last November. We didn't even know about it. We told them it was on the news but he guessed kids just didn't have time to watch the news and learn was is going on in the world, he made them demonstrate how that the horn worked, and show that they had a square floatable throw pillow. It was too extreme. I can't say that he really didn't anything not allowed by law, but his attitude sucked and he ruined their day for no reason what so ever. He made four of them move into his boat and brought everyone back to the dock. He ended up only giving my nephew a warning.
It made me very mad because he only did that because they are kids. They weren't doing anything wrong. They weren't drunk or acting up. My brother-in-law went down to the dock with my nephew (he had to come up to the house and get his license). The guy tried to tell my brother-in-law that the boat almost capsized when they hit a wave. That is a lie. We have done everything possible with that boat and you can't capsize it or even rock it. It is a big Hurricane deck boat, it doesn't do crazy things. The motor bogs down if you even turn too sharply. Also, we have had it over capacity more often than under capacity not to mention the five ice chests we usually carry. This man was mad because he had to work all weekend (he mentioned it several times) and decided to play with his supposed power with some poor kids. As I said before we are over capacity all the time and they never pull us adults over.
I know that sometimes groups of kids can cause problems or be in need of checking up on but don't treat kids bad just because they are young.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Hectic
It has been a crazy couple of weeks. We went to the lake last weekend which was nice because it forced us to not worry about chores or errands or checking email. It was actually a working weekend since we were getting ready for tomorrow's holiday weekend. 10 of us went down and the guys got a lot done. Mowed the yard, cleaned up some limbs from last winter's ice storms, mowed the Corps property, planted some Bradford pears in the front yard, put a new air conditioner in the little house, patched shingles on roof (same ice storm), washed the boat and SeaDoo, and burned some limbs and scrap wood. I mostly just lounged around. I have inflamed by chest wall again. It has happened before, no explanation. The space between the ribs just gets inflamed and very painful. I did a week of steroid medication with some improvement but today I ended up having to go back in and get a steroid shot in my chest wall. OUCH!
This week I had big plans to get lots of things done during the four weeknights we had before heading back to the lake. I think Monday night I did nothing. Literally nothing. Work has been very busy and this week was no better. I had one project I was working on a week ago and no matter what I was going to finish it this Monday morning, instead I just finished it today, Friday, in the afternoon no less. It was not a productive week at all, ending with a big accident today that luckily left no one injured but still ruined all the other plans for the day. Now there are just four days of the month left and nothing is even close to ready.
Tuesday night I did get some laundry done at home and M got the yardwork done. Wednesday night was our nephew's girlfriend's birthday party (21 finally!!). We left as soon as I got home (picked up a gift on the way.) Thursday night we wend out to eat with M's brother and sister-in-law then we went to bed early. Tonight I have been packing and getting ready for lake.
We are flying in the morning to McPherson, KS for our niece's college graduation then coming back to OKC and driving to the lake. We don't usually fly to the lake because the airport is 30 minutes or so away from lake house, we haul a lot of stuff to the lake every week, and there is really no airport just a strip and parking area and I worry about leaving the plane sitting out there.
There will be 25 or so of us at the lake this weekend. Big holiday weekend!! 10 is more of the regular crowd. The holiday weekends are so busy but I think the gas prices will slow things down a little. Even last year, the beaches tended to be busy but there wasn't a lot of traffic on the water all the time. I bet this year is worse. The non-holiday weekends will be slow which is okay with us. My brother-in-law-type-person bought a new wake board boat. He got a Malibu. We won't have it this weekend to play with but should be here by next. The kids are so excited. I am secretly glad we don't have it this weekend because the doctor really told me not to be out on the rough water this weekend with my sore ribs. So sad.
This week I had big plans to get lots of things done during the four weeknights we had before heading back to the lake. I think Monday night I did nothing. Literally nothing. Work has been very busy and this week was no better. I had one project I was working on a week ago and no matter what I was going to finish it this Monday morning, instead I just finished it today, Friday, in the afternoon no less. It was not a productive week at all, ending with a big accident today that luckily left no one injured but still ruined all the other plans for the day. Now there are just four days of the month left and nothing is even close to ready.
Tuesday night I did get some laundry done at home and M got the yardwork done. Wednesday night was our nephew's girlfriend's birthday party (21 finally!!). We left as soon as I got home (picked up a gift on the way.) Thursday night we wend out to eat with M's brother and sister-in-law then we went to bed early. Tonight I have been packing and getting ready for lake.
We are flying in the morning to McPherson, KS for our niece's college graduation then coming back to OKC and driving to the lake. We don't usually fly to the lake because the airport is 30 minutes or so away from lake house, we haul a lot of stuff to the lake every week, and there is really no airport just a strip and parking area and I worry about leaving the plane sitting out there.
There will be 25 or so of us at the lake this weekend. Big holiday weekend!! 10 is more of the regular crowd. The holiday weekends are so busy but I think the gas prices will slow things down a little. Even last year, the beaches tended to be busy but there wasn't a lot of traffic on the water all the time. I bet this year is worse. The non-holiday weekends will be slow which is okay with us. My brother-in-law-type-person bought a new wake board boat. He got a Malibu. We won't have it this weekend to play with but should be here by next. The kids are so excited. I am secretly glad we don't have it this weekend because the doctor really told me not to be out on the rough water this weekend with my sore ribs. So sad.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Crafty
This weekend I changed my quilt wall hanging to SPRING!! The season is always upon us before I remember to change. My mom is very craft. She can make anything.
Several years ago, she made me a beautiful Winter quilt wall hanging that I hung up in the living room. I could never bring myself to take it down, partly laziness but mostly because I liked it and I didn't have anything to take its place. It paid off because after a year of the winter quilt hanging, mom made me a quilt for each season. I attached pictures of them but they don't do them justice.
All I have to do is a give mom an idea and she can create it. I have beautiful quilts, tree skirts, Christmas stockings, wall hangings, pillows, place mats, window seat covers, etc. Anything I can dream up, she can produce. It is a wonderful skill she has (one that I did not inherit.) Attached is a picture of the new dining room table runner she made me for Christmas last year (ignore computer on table --that is as far as new computer has made it).
We are going to the lake this weekend, and I need to take my camera and take a picture of the lighthouse wall hanging she made for my bedroom there. It is lovely. My sister-in-law takes painting classes each week and she also made me some lighthouse paintings. I haven't seen them yet. She is supposed to bring them to the lake too.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Productive
I have had a great weekend. We spent Friday dragging stuff out to garage for garage sales. I got rid of a lot of stuff. Yesterday afternoon after we hauled off leftover stuff to EARC, we came back home and M painted the new part of the house. The seamless gutter people are coming out on Tuesday to fix the gutter. The bricklayers should finish the new wall tomorrow and the wrought iron gate has been ordered. Sprinkler man is coming out tomorrow night to look over changes to yard and give an estimate of sprinkler adjustments needed. M has always done the changes we need, but this time there are so many changes and new flower beds to cover adequately, we decided to see what an estimate will be.
My office has become very piled up. We are moving everything out of the study so we can repaint and M can build new furniture. I have been boxing up books for a few weeks. This morning M went flying and I started packing boxes. I have finished. Everything is packed up. The desk is empty, the old computer is cleaned up for L, the shelves are bare, and I have several bags of trash to haul out. It feels great to get so much done.
I had to drag my bills and new mail into the dining room to work on the new computer. That felt awkward. I didn't like working on finances in there. I am ready to get the new temporary office set up upstairs. I want to get the network up and running before I give old computer to L. Right now the network is run through the old computer so I want to make sure I can get it transferred to new computer okay. Heaven forbid I go any length of time at all without Internet service.
M should be home by 11:30 or so. We are meeting my mom in town for lunch for Mother's Day at 12:15. We got her a GC for Hobby Lobby and cards. I had flowers sent to her this week. She loves fresh flowers. C had a candy machine delivered to her from the "dogs". She loves black licorice and black jelly bellys. L and T are planning to meet us for lunch too. L has been having a hard time coming up with a mother's day gift for me. I feel bad for her because I am hard to buy for. I don't want for much and don't really splurge much money except for on books. I often get GC for B&N from the kids, but I love them.
I'd better get moving and start getting ready or M will find me huddled in front of the computer holding a cup of coffee and blogging away.
My office has become very piled up. We are moving everything out of the study so we can repaint and M can build new furniture. I have been boxing up books for a few weeks. This morning M went flying and I started packing boxes. I have finished. Everything is packed up. The desk is empty, the old computer is cleaned up for L, the shelves are bare, and I have several bags of trash to haul out. It feels great to get so much done.
I had to drag my bills and new mail into the dining room to work on the new computer. That felt awkward. I didn't like working on finances in there. I am ready to get the new temporary office set up upstairs. I want to get the network up and running before I give old computer to L. Right now the network is run through the old computer so I want to make sure I can get it transferred to new computer okay. Heaven forbid I go any length of time at all without Internet service.
M should be home by 11:30 or so. We are meeting my mom in town for lunch for Mother's Day at 12:15. We got her a GC for Hobby Lobby and cards. I had flowers sent to her this week. She loves fresh flowers. C had a candy machine delivered to her from the "dogs". She loves black licorice and black jelly bellys. L and T are planning to meet us for lunch too. L has been having a hard time coming up with a mother's day gift for me. I feel bad for her because I am hard to buy for. I don't want for much and don't really splurge much money except for on books. I often get GC for B&N from the kids, but I love them.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Garage Sale
The garage sale is over. We didn't do bad but it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth the money at least. We made $400 which is okay but it would have been much easier to just give it all away. We gave all the leftovers to a local charity.
The part that made it worth it was that once I placed the ad, we knew we had to get everything cleaned out. I went through every cabinet in the house and got rid of stuff. M went through the shop. We cleaned out the entire attic and got rid of almost everything out of his parents' house.
That was worth it.
The part that made it worth it was that once I placed the ad, we knew we had to get everything cleaned out. I went through every cabinet in the house and got rid of stuff. M went through the shop. We cleaned out the entire attic and got rid of almost everything out of his parents' house.
That was worth it.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
In the air
We had a couple of great flights this past weekend. Friday night we wanted to fly to Enrique's Mexican Restaurant in Ponca City for dinner. M had already checked the weather and we were headed to the airport. I was playing with the GPS and checked out Ponca's weather again. It had updated and really gone downhill. There was a 37 mph crosswind in Ponca. That ruled out any serious thoughts about Ponca so we decided to head the opposite direction to the Blue Pig BBQ at the airport in Ardmore.
The weather in Ardmore looked fine and the weather in OKC was fine so off we went. M's brother and sister-in-law were with us. The flight down was great. I love flying and listening to the radio. We got flight following and took a path across downtown Oklahoma City. I like seeing my office from the sky. Dinner was good and we headed back towards OKC.
A cold front had been working its way south all afternoon. We could see it ahead of us and knew we were going to get into it before we got home. The clouds were high so we weren't going to have to switch to instrument flying. The closer we got to the city, the clearer we could see the cold front. It was amazing! There was a lot of blowing dust at the leading edge of the front. The edge was so clearly defined. I can't even explain it. The dust was blowing out in bulge along the front edge of the clouds. It was such a crisp clearly-defined line between the dusty part and the clear part. I was mesmerized. I can't believe I didn't have my camera with me. It would have made a beautiful picture.
Right before we reached the front of dust and clouds, I thought "we're going to feel it when we hit the front." Right then, we hit it. It was a little bumpy but not bad. The pressure was so different that our altimeter jumped about 700 feet. This does not mean we changed altitude, just the gauge changed and had to be re-adjusted due to differences in pressure on each side of the front. It was instantly very poor visibility. We were under flight following and Oke City Approach was very busy. They had so many flights in the air and nobody could see well so they were having to vector everyone around. We were cleared to fly to downtown before turning west to our airport. A few minutes after crossing the front, we were able to see a lot better and there was no more bumpiness. It was a really great flight.
Saturday morning was the Ponca City EAA fly-in breakfast. We flew up with some friends in their turbo Cessna 210. Poor M. He had to sit in the back with me. He said he felt out of control. It's not that he didn't trust the pilots. One of them is his instructor. It was just more that he wanted to be the one flying. We had a great flight again and a good breakfast.
The weather in Ardmore looked fine and the weather in OKC was fine so off we went. M's brother and sister-in-law were with us. The flight down was great. I love flying and listening to the radio. We got flight following and took a path across downtown Oklahoma City. I like seeing my office from the sky. Dinner was good and we headed back towards OKC.
A cold front had been working its way south all afternoon. We could see it ahead of us and knew we were going to get into it before we got home. The clouds were high so we weren't going to have to switch to instrument flying. The closer we got to the city, the clearer we could see the cold front. It was amazing! There was a lot of blowing dust at the leading edge of the front. The edge was so clearly defined. I can't even explain it. The dust was blowing out in bulge along the front edge of the clouds. It was such a crisp clearly-defined line between the dusty part and the clear part. I was mesmerized. I can't believe I didn't have my camera with me. It would have made a beautiful picture.
Right before we reached the front of dust and clouds, I thought "we're going to feel it when we hit the front." Right then, we hit it. It was a little bumpy but not bad. The pressure was so different that our altimeter jumped about 700 feet. This does not mean we changed altitude, just the gauge changed and had to be re-adjusted due to differences in pressure on each side of the front. It was instantly very poor visibility. We were under flight following and Oke City Approach was very busy. They had so many flights in the air and nobody could see well so they were having to vector everyone around. We were cleared to fly to downtown before turning west to our airport. A few minutes after crossing the front, we were able to see a lot better and there was no more bumpiness. It was a really great flight.
Saturday morning was the Ponca City EAA fly-in breakfast. We flew up with some friends in their turbo Cessna 210. Poor M. He had to sit in the back with me. He said he felt out of control. It's not that he didn't trust the pilots. One of them is his instructor. It was just more that he wanted to be the one flying. We had a great flight again and a good breakfast.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Fragile
Life is so fragile and it is so scary when you are reminded. A co-worker passed away yesterday. He was 39, just two years older than me. We don't really know what happened. He came back in town Sunday from going to the Kentucky Derby. He told his roommate he was really tired and was going to take a shower and go to bed. His roommate went to work the next morning but tried to reach him by phone later and couldn't get a hold of him. The roommate went home at lunch and found him still in bed. It doesn't appear he ever woke up. No one is sure what happened and we might never know. He was a diabetic and had some trouble controlling it, but other than that appeared healthy and fit. He will be very missed.
Another friend that just had heart surgery has been recovering well. We felt so blessed that his heart problem was discovered by a conscientious doctor. The type of problem he had was called the widow-maker because there is usually no notice of it and it just kills. The surgery went fine and he has been home 10-14 days. Yesterday, he sneezed and tore open part of his incision. Turns out it is infected and now he is back in the hospital on strong antibiotics while they try to figure out what it is. We are really hoping it is just a tissue surface infection, but I am so worried about something more serious. My aunt is fighting a staph infection right now that she caught in a surgery center.
It is just scary to think how really fragile life is. I find myself worrying and thinking about all the things I would leave unfinished if I were to die right now. I worry about my husband having to take care of everything on his own. Not that he couldn't but I don't want him to have to. I want us to grow old together. I don't want either one of us to have to face the rest of our lives alone. I know it is ridiculous to worry when there is nothing we can do to predict the future, but I worry anyway.
Another friend that just had heart surgery has been recovering well. We felt so blessed that his heart problem was discovered by a conscientious doctor. The type of problem he had was called the widow-maker because there is usually no notice of it and it just kills. The surgery went fine and he has been home 10-14 days. Yesterday, he sneezed and tore open part of his incision. Turns out it is infected and now he is back in the hospital on strong antibiotics while they try to figure out what it is. We are really hoping it is just a tissue surface infection, but I am so worried about something more serious. My aunt is fighting a staph infection right now that she caught in a surgery center.
It is just scary to think how really fragile life is. I find myself worrying and thinking about all the things I would leave unfinished if I were to die right now. I worry about my husband having to take care of everything on his own. Not that he couldn't but I don't want him to have to. I want us to grow old together. I don't want either one of us to have to face the rest of our lives alone. I know it is ridiculous to worry when there is nothing we can do to predict the future, but I worry anyway.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Misc.
I have been having a great week at work. I have moved some of the responsibilities of my job to my clerk and secretary and it has freed up a lot of time for me. I have been able to get several things off my desk and completed. I still have to spend a lot of time helping them with their new tasks, but that is okay. They are learning plus the final say will still be mine on any complications or questions.
At home, I haven't got a lot done, but I have been concentrating on getting small things accomplished instead of being overwhelmed by the number of things I want to work on. I have gotten all the files from old computer moved over to new computer. I was able to establish a network and share files between the computers. Technology is wonderful.
The election debacle is so frustrating. I am not happy with any of the candidates this year. I don't even want to vote for any of them in either party. As my boss put it, we will just "hold our noses and vote and hope for something better in 4 years." I think the country needs good solid leadership. I am not up-to-speed enough to think I could tell you exactly what we need in a leader, but I don't get a good feeling from any of the candidates that they are it. It is a little scary in ways to wonder about the political future.
House is done getting bricked. It looks great. Right now the masonry is still a little wet so if you know where to look you can see the break between the old and new parts, but it is drying quickly and won't be so noticeable. We are going to build a little brick wall with a brick archway that will have a wrought iron gate in it on the side of the house. M has to dig the footing for the wall first since it will need a good solid foundation for the weight. We are considering putting two brick columns up near front of driveway at the same time, but we can't decide. M is going to order some dirt out too and get the yard leveled and start trying to get the grass to grow back in around new part. Yard is looking better. Weed killer finally took and when M moved this week, weeds went away and didn't come back. We need a little more heat for Bermuda to green up some more. I got the flowers planted Monday night and they are looking good. I went to a new nursery called Under the Sun. The plants were amazing compared to what I have bought in the past. they were larger, dirt was moist and richer, and the plants had full root systems. I was impressed and will go there again.
At home, I haven't got a lot done, but I have been concentrating on getting small things accomplished instead of being overwhelmed by the number of things I want to work on. I have gotten all the files from old computer moved over to new computer. I was able to establish a network and share files between the computers. Technology is wonderful.
The election debacle is so frustrating. I am not happy with any of the candidates this year. I don't even want to vote for any of them in either party. As my boss put it, we will just "hold our noses and vote and hope for something better in 4 years." I think the country needs good solid leadership. I am not up-to-speed enough to think I could tell you exactly what we need in a leader, but I don't get a good feeling from any of the candidates that they are it. It is a little scary in ways to wonder about the political future.
House is done getting bricked. It looks great. Right now the masonry is still a little wet so if you know where to look you can see the break between the old and new parts, but it is drying quickly and won't be so noticeable. We are going to build a little brick wall with a brick archway that will have a wrought iron gate in it on the side of the house. M has to dig the footing for the wall first since it will need a good solid foundation for the weight. We are considering putting two brick columns up near front of driveway at the same time, but we can't decide. M is going to order some dirt out too and get the yard leveled and start trying to get the grass to grow back in around new part. Yard is looking better. Weed killer finally took and when M moved this week, weeds went away and didn't come back. We need a little more heat for Bermuda to green up some more. I got the flowers planted Monday night and they are looking good. I went to a new nursery called Under the Sun. The plants were amazing compared to what I have bought in the past. they were larger, dirt was moist and richer, and the plants had full root systems. I was impressed and will go there again.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Disillusionment
I have always said I could be bought with beverages. I really like beverages. I drink heavily no matter what I drink. At restaurants, I can wear the waiter out bringing me refills. It doesn’t matter what I am drinking either. Water, coffee, iced tea, diet Coke, even alcoholic drinks. I drink a lot, always have.
I am an obsessive drinker. I always have a drink with me at work. I actually bring 3-4 cans of caffeine-free diet Coke to work with me every day, plus I usually buy one with lunch and drink water and coffee too. I do not drink alcohol very often because I know I will just drink and drink and drink. For the last several years, I have really only drank alcohol on vacation or at the lake during the summer. I have also started adding a bottle of water between alcoholic drinks at the lake. It helps me pace myself plus it is just good for you in Oklahoma’s 95+ degree summers.
Where I was going with this story was that I can hardly go to town without wanting to stop for a pop. I have a little routine I go through where I rub my throat and make faint scratchy hacking sounds until I notice my husband look at me, then I usually say “I sure am parched today.” He is on to my schemes, but he will usually stop. Earlier this year, a little tiny building started being built in the parking lot of our gym. We drive by this parking lot every time we go to town. We started playing the guessing game of what it was going to be. M guessed coffee house first thing, but I was not sure. I guessed sno-cone hut.
M found out from friends that own the shopping center that it was a coffee house going in. The man had come to them asking to build the building in the corner of their parking lot fully at his cost and he would just give them the building if his business failed. Anyway, from then on while the building was being built, I would say “I sure could use some drive-thru coffee” every time we passed this intersection. There were some weather delays, but I kept dreaming about this new coffee place.
Now, like any big town in the US, we have numerous Starbucks, about 10 that I can think of quickly and that is just here, not counting the city we connect to. I have never been to Starbucks except once in New Orleans, but I was convinced that I was going to be a frequent patron of this new drive-thru coffee place. It finally opened and I didn’t go and didn’t go and didn’t go. I drove by once while they were closed and looked at the menu but still didn’t go.
Last night I had to get gas on my way home from work so I went through town and stopped at the drive-thru coffee place. There is a double drive-thru and while I was there five cars and two pedestrians were served. It was finally my turn and I ordered their specialty – caramel and vanilla latte. This is where the disillusionment comes in – it was DISGUSTING! It was so strong and bitter I could not finish it. I was very sad; all my hopes and dreams shot down. I guess I will go back to stopping for diet Coke in town.
Actually, they did have an Italian Soda on the menu. I sometimes get an Italian Crème Soda with Vanilla at the coffee shop in B&N. I saw it on the menu yesterday but I was afraid to get that started. I really like them but they can’t be good for you – they are way too tasty to be healthy. But maybe every once in a while . . .
I am an obsessive drinker. I always have a drink with me at work. I actually bring 3-4 cans of caffeine-free diet Coke to work with me every day, plus I usually buy one with lunch and drink water and coffee too. I do not drink alcohol very often because I know I will just drink and drink and drink. For the last several years, I have really only drank alcohol on vacation or at the lake during the summer. I have also started adding a bottle of water between alcoholic drinks at the lake. It helps me pace myself plus it is just good for you in Oklahoma’s 95+ degree summers.
Where I was going with this story was that I can hardly go to town without wanting to stop for a pop. I have a little routine I go through where I rub my throat and make faint scratchy hacking sounds until I notice my husband look at me, then I usually say “I sure am parched today.” He is on to my schemes, but he will usually stop. Earlier this year, a little tiny building started being built in the parking lot of our gym. We drive by this parking lot every time we go to town. We started playing the guessing game of what it was going to be. M guessed coffee house first thing, but I was not sure. I guessed sno-cone hut.
M found out from friends that own the shopping center that it was a coffee house going in. The man had come to them asking to build the building in the corner of their parking lot fully at his cost and he would just give them the building if his business failed. Anyway, from then on while the building was being built, I would say “I sure could use some drive-thru coffee” every time we passed this intersection. There were some weather delays, but I kept dreaming about this new coffee place.
Now, like any big town in the US, we have numerous Starbucks, about 10 that I can think of quickly and that is just here, not counting the city we connect to. I have never been to Starbucks except once in New Orleans, but I was convinced that I was going to be a frequent patron of this new drive-thru coffee place. It finally opened and I didn’t go and didn’t go and didn’t go. I drove by once while they were closed and looked at the menu but still didn’t go.
Last night I had to get gas on my way home from work so I went through town and stopped at the drive-thru coffee place. There is a double drive-thru and while I was there five cars and two pedestrians were served. It was finally my turn and I ordered their specialty – caramel and vanilla latte. This is where the disillusionment comes in – it was DISGUSTING! It was so strong and bitter I could not finish it. I was very sad; all my hopes and dreams shot down. I guess I will go back to stopping for diet Coke in town.
Actually, they did have an Italian Soda on the menu. I sometimes get an Italian Crème Soda with Vanilla at the coffee shop in B&N. I saw it on the menu yesterday but I was afraid to get that started. I really like them but they can’t be good for you – they are way too tasty to be healthy. But maybe every once in a while . . .
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